Men’s Flirting Signals

To understand a man’s flirting signals is just as difficult for women as in the opposite case. This is due first, to the fact that men often do not know how to send the right signals to a woman they are interested in and second, men often simply do not have the courage to address a woman or show interest. As unmanly as this is, men have to overcome many more fears in addressing a woman than women can simply imagine.

At the same time our modern world also lost the rules to be followed for dates and how to approach people of the opposite sex. Because everything is allowed these days, knowing what is right or wrong poses great problems: suddenly some women already feel offended just because a man holds the door open for them. This has forced men into a very passive and insecure role and deprived them of the motivation to act in a manly way and approach women.

However, there are some very clear signs that he is interested in her:

A smile. If he smiles at her, he clearly has an interest in her as a woman. What is to be done in this case by a woman? Smile back, of course. If he does not come across to speak to her, then is not because of something she is doing wrong but because he is struggling with his own shyness.

A shy and covert glance: he often looks away or down immediately, because he feels caught and does not dare to look directly at her and much less talk to her.

He writes SMS, emails, phones frequently, far too long and too often, but he simply has no sense for the right dose and hopes that she appreciates his efforts.

We must never forget that men, in contrast to women, are not precisely masters in subtle signals, neither in detecting them nor in sending them out. As mentioned in Why men do not notice women’s flirting signals, men fundamentally cannot interpret the many small signals sent by women, i.e. while she already thinks that she has been clearly rejected by him, he has not even started to notice that she is interested in him. He ponders all the time whether he should address her or not, because he simply does not notice the signals she is sending.

This leaves a woman with only three possibilities: to address him herself and see if he likes her or not, to continue sending subtle signals and hope that he will notice them at some point, or to increase the signalling strength until he realizes that she is interested, and in some cases the signal button has to be pushed quite often and hard to draw his attention and make him notice her.