How to Talk to Men

For women, talking to men is often something incredibly difficult. It often feels like sitting in front of an emotionless iceberg with not the least inkling of what you are talking about. And you are exactly right! He often has no idea about what has just happened and what she wants to tell or show him.

But this is not due to the fact that men are somehow misguided or do everything just “wrong” in matters of communication.

The reality is that men and women are of a totally different nature regarding communication. Men like to take things “as is”; what they hear will be understood logically with little interpreting or emotional processing. Women are simply the natural counterpart to this.

What can you therefore do when you have a man before you who will simply not understand what is important for a woman in each situation?

Is he mistaken? Does he do everything the wrong way? Of course not. What both sides need to understand here is the fact that two completely different types of communication collide when men and women communicate. This means, in first place, that there is no “wrong” or “right” concerning this issue, and in second place, that each side must try to take the other seriously and simply make all the efforts needed to accept the other one as he/she is, trying to find a new or at least a different way to communicate.

This means for women that they must take him seriously.

Whatever he does, desires and thinks is no misguided or even childish way of communicating: he is simply a man who deals with the world in a very male fashion. If a woman perceives this as ridiculous or childish, she is not only self-centered and arrogant, but also spoils the evening for both, wasting the chances to get to know each other better.

Even if men, compared to women, have not so much to offer emotionally, they realize very clearly when they are only smiled at or not taken seriously by women. Not to be taken seriously for something that is a part of oneself and is not changeable generates negative feelings in everybody and takes away all chances of success for any kind of relationship right from the start.