How To Break Up

How To Get a Relationship

This question may sound harsh but sometimes it’s hard to break up with someone who just doesn’t get it.
Maybe he or she is in love with you and can’t let go. Maybe they threaten to hurt themselves if you leave them or use some other form of guilt that keeps you around. Maybe what they will do when you leave scares you more than staying with them.
Whatever it is you want to leave them and get on with your life without them and you figure that making them breakup with you will be the easiest route to take.

So what’s the answer to this question?

Answer for you: «Redefining your relationship is in your absolute control».
Answer for him: «This too shall pass».
The above quotation, «this too shall pass», reflects the changing nature of our world. With time, everything changes, even if only slightly. Feelings change, and situations change with time.

The sooner you start changing things, the sooner they change.

Staying in this relationship a moment longer (not changing) will probably only make it more painful for the other person because it draws out the pain that’s they are feeling. If they continue feeling those feelings for you despite the fact that you don’t feel that way about him (not changing), than they prolong their suffering. Change is natural and embracing it will make both of you happier.

My main point is that it appears from an outsider’s point of view that you are allowing someone who acts sad or depressed to influence you to remain in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy.

If you allow yourself to go along with someone else’s desires that are contrary to your own, or to put off being happy for them, and even if you care about them and don’t want to hurt them, than neither you or the other person will ever be happy because in the end its a lie, or a false hope because being in a relationship means mutually agreeing to be in it.
If you don’t mutually agree to be in it, its not a relationship, its a temporary rut that’s going to end up making you both really mad at each other.

If you pretend to remain in the relationship, it creates exactly the kind of situation you are now in, but worse. The odds are you probably wanted to break up with him or her earlier, but didn’t want to hurt his feelings, and thought that things «might get better». Am I right? If not, than move on.

The question «How do I make someone break up with me??» reflects an attitude that he or she is in control of the situation (who you are with), but that’s not true.

They won’t break up with you.

That much is for sure. They have no reason to! They are happy in the relationship and don’t want to be without it. You could probably do just about anything and not lose them.
So you are going to have to take the reins and do the break up yourself. You will feel better, and they will feel better, once it’s done.