How Can You Do It? Stop An Affair:

How Can You Do It?

Are you married and been tempted to have an affair? Maybe you felt your spouse did not love you any more. Maybe you were no longer in love with your spouse. The trouble is, once you start one, how do you stop an affair?
Of course, it goes without saying that having an affair can cause big problems. You can avoid some of those, however, by choosing the person you have it with wisely. Make sure you know the person well enough that you are fairly sure that they are mentally balanced and will not threaten to tell your spouse later on.

As always, honesty is the best policy.

That may seem like unusual advice when talking about cheating. But if you are straightforward with each other in the beginning, it can avoid a lot of drama later. If you have no intention of leaving your spouse, for example, do not pretend that you do.

When you do want to end it, try to be honest as well.

But it is a good idea not to make it the fault of the other person. You do not want to make the person feel defensive. Even if it is their fault in your mind, saying so is only going to make them feel like lashing out. This could have far bigger repercussions.
If you are going to be honest, with the partner and yourself, you need to be clear about why you are getting involved in an affair to begin with. This can help you to be equally clear when you are breaking it off. Of course, even if you put the blame on yourself, there is still a chance that the other person will be upset enough to tell your spouse about the affair. If this happens, you are best off coming clean and admitting it.

As you do so, think about the outcome you really want to achieve.

If you want to split up, use this as a way to make it happen. It will not do either of you any good if you try to prolong your marriage out of guilt.

If you want to stop an affair, try to be as direct as possible. Be as honest as you can but do not make the other person feel bad about the affair or themselves. This is your opportunity to get every aspect of your life back to one of which you can be proud.